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Crooked Back Whackers Anonymous

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My stick is fully loaded and my gun is pointy! Oct. 7th, 2005 @ 08:40 am
achtungsmuggler
Er... yeah. I'll be co-running this here community, which involves just what I have no clue. But thought I'd say hi. Hi!

This will likely have zero impact upon anybody's life in any form, so carry on. Do your thing.

LENNY SAYS: Aug. 1st, 2005 @ 11:04 pm
positively4th
You can talk about leukemia all day long, because there's no specific cure, but the clap - you could whack it out in two days with all the antibiotics, so how come it's still there and stays up there? Don't even say the word clap, man. "It's alright, Mrs. Sheckner, you've just got a little discharge." Because you get leukemia in a respectable way. but how do you get the clap? By doing it, and anybody who does that dirty thing obviously deserves to get the clap.
why do you think Ben-Hur's mother and sister got leprosy? Because they didn't put paper on the seat.
Now, if your daughter dies in the back of a taxicab bleeding from a bad curettage because she had a baby in her belly and therefore she's a tramp because the witch doctor didn't put a hoop on her finger, is it any easier for your son to come to you and tell you he has the clap?
If he's lucky, he may go to some schmuck who sweeps up the drugstore.
"Hey, Manny... you'll mop later, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Whaddaya want?"
"Listen, I got the clap."
"Oh, yeah - where'd you get that?"
"From painting a car, - what's the difference? I got it, alright?"
"So whaddaya want from me?"
"Some pills. You work in the drugstore here."
"All right, I'll give you some pills. Dexedrine Spastules."
"Is that any good?"
"Yeah, they're all the same. These are good. They keep you awake so you know you've got it."
"How do I know when I get rid of it?"
"Well, if your knees don't swell up and you don't go blind, I guess you're OK."
"The reason I want these pills is, I finally got a good job."
"Oh, yeah? Where you working?"
"In a meat-packing plant, and I don't want to lay off because I'm sick with the clap. You want some steaks?"
"No; no thanks."

I envisioned my campaign... "She's got it, by jove, I think she's finally got it!" And then the chorus would sing, to the tune of "See the U.S.A. in your Chevrolet," "Curb the Clap Today, in the U.S.A.. it's a job that's never been done before!" What a thrill it would be to produce the first Clapathon on TV.

Jul. 19th, 2005 @ 02:24 pm
forkstaple

Jul. 19th, 2005 @ 03:53 am
elesse_dee
Which album would you say is his best? I've only listened to "To is a Prepostion; Come is a Verb" and the two-disc Carnegie Hall ones.

Jul. 8th, 2005 @ 06:19 pm
forkstaple
I was looking at my copy of "To is a prepostion, come is a verb"
I bought it a couple months back for about 15 bucks or so at a used record store

and what do I see? but these stamps of the cover - it was very cool - ill have to post a scan of them sometime
Other entries
» [Filling in...] Lenny Says:
To is a Preposition, Come is a Verb
To is a preposition.
To is a preposition.
Come is a verb.
To is a preposition.
Come is a verb.
To is a preposition.
Come is a verb, the verb intransitive.
To come.
To come.
I've heard these two words my whole adult life, and as a kid when I thought I was sleeping.
To come.
To come.
It's been like a big drum solo.
Did you come?
Did you come?
Good.
Did you come good?
Did you come good?
Did you come good?
Did you come good?
Did you come good?
Did you come good?
Did you come good?
I come better with you, sweetheart, than with anybody in the whole goddamn world.
I really came so good and I came so good 'cause I love you.
I really came so good.
I come better with you, sweetheart, than anyone in the whole world.
I really came so good.
So good.
But don't come in me.
Don’t come in me.
Don’t come in me
Don't come in me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
Don’t come in me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
Don't come in me.
Don't come…. in me…in me in me.
Don’t come in me, in me….in me.
I can't come.
'Cause you don't love me--that's why you can't come.
I can't come.
I love you, I just can't come; that's my hang-up.
I can't come when I'm loaded, all right?
'Cause you don't love me.
Just what the hell is the matter with you-what has that got to do with loving? I just can't come that's all.
Now if anyone in this room or the world finds those two words decadent, obscene, immoral, amoral, asexual-- the words "to come" really make you feel uncomfortable--if you think I'm rank for saying it to you, you the beholder think it's rank for listening to it....
you probably can't come.
» (No Subject)
LENNY SAYS: -

Take away the right to say "fuck" and you take away the right to say "fuck the government."
» (No Subject)
There's going to be a screening of Fosse's LENNY at the BAM Rose Cinemas in Brooklyn as part of their Jewish film festival this coming Saturday at 7pm. I'll be there.
For more on that...
http://www.bam.org/events/05SHUL_Film.aspx
» LENNY LENNY BRUCE BRUCE
advertising manager? ...pssh
I'm the MINISTER OF PROPAGANDA-
and don't you forget it :)

I get to run around like a madman posting up the bossman's (beautifficagorgemunesously) designed adverts everywhere! I'm also delegated to throw people into the crap house. I got a stick and a gun, but after that guy's got out of the room cause he does business with those assholes. I gotta make sure I kick em in the ass and throw em in there.
» Welcome one and all
WELCOME one and all to the Crooked Back Whackers Anonymous Association.
The [appallingly] ONE and ONLY Lenny Bruce community on Livejournal.

I am the... figure of authority here. Meaning I will set the rules.
They're simple.
Eat in area A.
Sleep in area B.
Throw your crap in area C.

I'll be posting bits and pieces of Lenny's words [when you least expect it or whenever i feel like it]in a segment entitled "LENNY SAYS."

Now, for some words ON Lenny, by the venerable Steve Allen:

"Lenny always seemed to me the first of the modern comedians. Before him, Nightclub comedy was limited to a few established formulas. Some comedians did an endless string of jokes - Henny Youngman, Morey Amsterdam, Rodney Dangerfield. Others told funny stories - Danny Thomas, Myron Cohen, Lou Holtz. A third category worked out of a musical context, like Jimmy Durante. But Lenny broke entirely new ground. He commented on the world around him, and, since he had the sensitivity of a philosopher plus a superior intelligence, the things he says were always insightful."
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